She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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