the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
