You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
