Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Randomize
