At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
