if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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