he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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