Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
