Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
