I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Randomize
