if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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