she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
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No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
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I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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