Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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