I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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