come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
