apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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