She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
