i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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