508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Randomize
