I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
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ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
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we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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