You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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