Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
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