If i come over, it means nothing
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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