Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
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I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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