She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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