The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
