there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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