YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
