WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Randomize
