ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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