Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
