that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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