all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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