I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize