you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
