I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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