T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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