I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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