ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
