One girl and one boy is just not enough.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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