I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
