she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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