Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
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