A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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