If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
