i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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