I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
