My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
