i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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