these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
