he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Damn victory sex feels great
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
