I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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