Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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