Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
