vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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