Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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