it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
