he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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