There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
All I want is dick and wine.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
